Dear Shaded Viewers,
As we approach the menswear collections, and as the definitions of masculinity continue to be a subject for much debate, I want to share a powerful discovery. It’s not about the polarisation of our view of the male, or political or sexual. It’s about a subtle shift that spreads wider than, when I first investigated it, I could have at first foreseen.
If it is always true that it’s the little things that count, those details are also part of a bigger picture. So, I’m going to start with some examples of details and see what you think. .
Tom Holland the actor persuading a shy fan to come and have her picture taken with him, The Pope Leo XIV being handed a rosary on his Spanish journey by a well wisher, that he later used in his devotions, King Charles III taking a small bunch of sunflowers and continuing to carry them, singer Harry Styles taking time to pay tribute to David Hockney at his concert.
Indeed in this context the outpouring of love and admiration for David Hockney at his death is astonishing, as were the same affectionate memories of the actor Anthony Head and the designer Nigel Cabourn. The one thing linking all these thought? It’s about being a gentleman.
It’s about a life lived with grace and charm, about manners and warmth and it’s about an inner confidence, but lack of egotistical swagger. About success that speaks gently and calmly, not about “don’t you know who I am?” . The idea, the concept the legend, in fact even the word conjures up a certain style, and “style” for men has broad applications, but in essence is about personal rules.
In terms of fashion it’s about a breakdown of dressing in a specific manner, a personal selection of dress to “portray” masculinity. It is obvious that the many definitions of what constitutes both mode of living and what you wear can be absolutely as diverse as at any time in history. Take the four men I gave examples of at the beginning and their public personas in terms of clothes. The Pope wears timeless vestments dating back hundreds of years in their origins, King Charles also wears ancient uniforms but his own wardrobe displays both classicism and quirky detail, Harry Styles and Tom Holland may have stylists but still stamp their different personalities on their clothes. Indeed both Harry Styles and the late David Hockney display a love of colour, a quirky sense of proportion and a weird formal/casual mix that is truly personal.
Identifying your appearance on the red carpet, in public, on appointments, at work, by clothes you’d never normally wear and being put in the position where it’s on the edge of a dare, is not empowering, it’s outdated. Being yourself and dressing and behaving with honesty is also offering a truth to your audience, be is Catholics, Royalists, fans of your music or acting. Keanu Reeves is a perfect example of this across the years as he leads his life and dresses and behaves exactly as he believes is right for him, honestly.
Fashion loving men often invoke the word “dandy” as a kind of get out from admitting some men like the attention, like to be well dressed, and are brilliantly confident in what they wear.
At the Met Gala Connor Storrie wore a look from Saint Laurent based on an archive womenswear piece, yet his confidence in carrying off a silk mousseline blouse was understated, especially since it was allied not to a slight feminine body, but to a masculine and muscular one. As he had already worn a second skin sheer t-shirt top and carried a 17th century gentleman’s fur muff to a movie premier it must be clear he enjoys the attention, but also pulls it all off with a deliberate nonchalance, note his flinging of the swathes of mousseline behind him as he removed his jacket. It is fashion by the man, not the fashion wearing the man, as so often happens at these events. Often indeed those guys who opt out of the entire fashion circus often look the best and most relaxed, they’re confident enough to resist the demands of the fashion game. Embarrassment, awkward posing for the cameras, and doubts on your choice of clothing is never either sexy or masculine.
Our ideas on what is attractive in terms of looks and physique change, although interestingly Hollywood icons like James Dean or Cary Grant transcend fashion and even later a Steve McQueen or Paul Newman remain style references. In fashion though sexy and handsome male models have changed dramatically in the last forty years, castings back in the day where almost every guy fitted a check list are long gone. It’s fascinating to note actor Nicholas Galitzine is set to play top male model Hoyt Richards in a new Gus van Sant movie, and what that will reveal about castings, looks and masculinity back in the day, what was “handsome” then. Today casting can be all over the place, probably first blown apart by Jean-Paul Gaultier whose menswear launch in 1984 literally threw masculine and male model definitions into a mixer and redistributed them. We welcome diverse ages, ethnicity, hairstyles, body types and even whisk actors onto the runway. Back in 2012 Miuccia Prada cast actors Gary Oldman, William Dafoe , Tim Roth, Adrien Brody, Jamie Bell, Emile Hirsch and Garrett Hedlund all in one show, did anyone notice the professional models?
In evaluating people thought social media, interviews, chat shows and live performance we’ve allowed ourselves to believe we know these people and can pass judgement. Especially on their clothes, a surface visual judgement easy to make, but also unfortunately on their private lives, again through their clothes. This puts extraordinary pressure on creative people to become “personalities” to play up to the interviewers, the cameras and the influencers. Supposedly giving them what they want, but the truth is that in 2026 the men who are winning are the ones who are living their lives consistently. Living as a complete entity and accepting that they’re in the spotlight whether they’re painting, acting or in politics. Sometimes totally abdicating from clothing or fashion statements has its own strength, power and boldness. I admit to a grudging respect for Kier Starmer for his lack of flash and showmanship. A quiet dresser who leads a quiet life, has a desk and corporate job, is making as much of a style statement as an extrovert creative swaggering around in dry expensive designer clothes, or a guy whose wardrobe is almost static in its jeans and t shirt pattern through 365 days of the year.
So, I think that charm and good manners, confidence and attention to detail and a belief that being true to yourself has a high masculine value, are all pointers in terms of menswear and getting dressed and being a gentleman.
The rules in menswear were made to be broken but many of them are relatively modern inventions, without listing them, from the late 19th and early twentieth century, where most of them start. So, when we jettison them it’s almost a certainty that they’ll come back. Especially when a generation hasn’t has the opportunity to try a style, an item, a detail, they’re fascinated. Every time we say the suit is dead it revives, every time we discard a detail it creeps back quietly to become a “trend”. The French cuff has all but disappeared but who knows, like trouser turn ups, sharp trouser creases, the knitted tie, buttonholes that work on a jacket cuff, or the wing collar, they are details to go in and out of fashion. The flower in the buttonhole or the moustache, the pony tail or the Hawaiian shirt, someone still does this look every day and it’s great.
Revivals, classics, avante garde, English country, California surfer, sharply tailored; whatever a man’s style preferences. What suits both the day to day world of the wearer, and their personal and physical attributes, is vital to both their fashion choices and their life’s success, let alone a private life lived happily. Such moments as opening the door for someone, or taking a gift to a party, are simply details, they’re old fashioned, they’re not a necessity, but they, along with your wardrobe, from porridge hued tweeds to those Hockney style brights,are an indicator you’re a gentleman.
I believe he’s back, in many forms and variations, and we’re seeking the reassurance in a troubled world that out there are people we can rely on, trust and have a respect and regard for. It’s a simple mix of components- fashion and good manners, charm and confidence, good clothes and a good person. In fact, someone who will dress well, whatever their style personality, and who will say “ Good Morning” or simply extend a hand to shake with a smile.
Thank you for reading.
